Photo diary by Adrian Crispin NYC 2005-2006

Photo diary

All these images were taken back in 2005 early 2006, it was a period of great personal distress for me, a period where I worked as a restaurant server and bartender and I would travel back to Paris a couple of weeks at a time to see my daughter who was 3 years old turning 4.

I was heading towards 30 and it was a time where I needed to make sense of what being a father meant and a successful person, at odds with whom I was. At odds with my artistic pursuits and exploits.

At night I was taking all these pictures at people’s outdoor BBQs on rooftops, backyards and bars with a raw flash. During the day in the streets on the way to my restaurant job which began at 4 pm.
What was particular about the whole process was that all the film was being shot but not developed. In the end I accumulated about 250+ rolls of 35mm film which remained in my parents‘ basement refrigerated for 10 years.
Looking at them now I can say these images were about my angst of turning 30, living in NY and trying to keep my head above water. They are pictures about being a marginal presence and coming to terms with the American idea of achievement and the achievements of my generation and most importantly the idea of success in the NYC art world. They are also about longing, about friendships, about the randomness of the city, they are blind spots. They are an ode to the NY of the past, the NY of the dirty 70’s and the CVJ art-superstars 80’s and a love-hate poem to the NY of the present and the great characters I have met there. It is a very personal visual reflection on an ever changing physical and psychological urban landscape filled with freaks and geeks and beauties and winners and loosers.